Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions children experience. It often appears suddenly and loudly—sometimes masking feelings like frustration, fear, or sadness. Teaching kids to understand and regulate anger helps transform it into a tool for positive action rather than destructive reactions.

✨ “Anger isn’t a bad emotion—it’s a protective one that motivates change. The key is helping kids identify why it’s showing up and respond thoughtfully,” explains Nadine Levitt, CEO of My Mama Says.

Why Anger Needs to Be Addressed Early

Anger lives in the brain’s limbic system, our “fight or flight” center. During an angry outburst, this primitive part of the brain takes over, shutting down problem-solving and communication.
By teaching kids tools to recognize and process anger, we empower them to:

Avoid impulsive reactions.
Name and manage emotions constructively.
Build emotional resilience and stronger family bonds.

**Help children move from anger to understanding with curiosity and patience.**

1. Teach Kids to Name their Emotions

Anger is rarely alone—we always feel a whole myriad of emotions, and they influence each other! But understanding this rich context may be the answer to effective emotional regulation! Since anger lives in the limbic system, we need to find a way to re-engage the pre frontal cortex (where all your higher order thinking happens, including problem solving and effective communication as well as emotional regulation!). A simple question like, “I can see you’re really angry. What else are you feeling?” shifts spark curiosity and help kids explore what’s happening internally.

Why It Works: Naming emotions activates the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for problem-solving, and helps children regulate their response.

2. Use Breathing Techniques to Interrupt Anger

When anger storms in, the nervous system escalates into fight-or-flight mode. Breathing exercises can quickly calm the body and reset emotional responses. A simple few deep breaths in, will immediately start to calm the nervous system.

Deep breathing can also be practiced when calm - in which case it will be easier to leverage when things get tense!

Try practicing this Square Breathing Exercise:

Inhale for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts.
Exhale for 4 counts.
Hold for 4 counts again.

Do it together with your child, modeling calm behavior in the moment.

✨ “Deep breathing gives kids a pause to reflect instead of react,” says Levitt.

**Square breathing helps calm the mind and body.**

3. Introduce Tactile Tools for Comfort

For younger children, holding a soft object like a stuffed toy can be incredibly grounding during moments of anger. Research shows that tactile tools lower stress and cortisol levels, providing a sense of safety.

My Mama Says’ Angry Hippo Stuffy, for instance, allows children to process anger in a healthy way. It gives them a soft, understanding friend that makes them feel safe even in the storm of anger!

Pro Tip: Encourage kids to “hug it out” with their tactile tool while breathing deeply to calm down.

**Tactile tools help children feel safe and supported during emotional storms.**

4. Creative or Physical Outlets for Anger

Art, storytelling, and movement allow children to express anger safely. For example:

Drawing or painting how they feel when they’re angry.
Dancing or singing to music can both help express emotions and also shift their mood.
Modeling with clay provides both a tactile experience as well as a creative release.
Storytelling with characters who learn to manage big emotions.
Going for a walk (especially in nature) can calm the nervous system and encourage deep breaths!

✨ “Art takes the pressure off kids to talk directly about their feelings and gives them a safe outlet to express themselves,” says Levitt.

**Art provides a healthy way for kids to release frustration and explore feelings.**

5. Model Healthy Responses

Children learn by watching how adults handle emotions. By modeling responses like pausing, breathing, and naming feelings, you show your child how to navigate anger in a healthy way.

Try saying: “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath and think about what to do next.” Over time, kids will begin mirroring this behavior.

Make Anger a Teachable Moment

Anger doesn’t have to lead to meltdowns or conflict. When you equip children with the tools to understand and manage it, anger becomes an opportunity for growth, learning, and connection.

✨ Ready to start transforming how your family navigates big emotions? Explore expert-curated tools and resources from My Mama Says designed to make emotional learning natural and fun.

From Anger to Calm: Tools to Help Kids Navigate Big Emotions