How to Help Your Child Set Emotional Goals for the New Year
As the New Year begins, many families set resolutions around health, academics, or daily habits. But what about emotional goals? Teaching kids to recognize, name, and manage their emotions is just as essential for their growth and success as learning to read or solving math problems.
Why Set Emotional Goals?
Children face big emotions every day—fear, frustration, jealousy, anger—that can feel overwhelming without the right tools to process them. Setting emotional goals can:
Build emotional vocabulary so kids can express feelings.
Foster resilience to overcome challenges.
Strengthen family bonds through healthy conversations.
✨ “We’re teaching kids not to react impulively but to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully,” explains Nadine Levitt, CEO of My Mama Says.
Turn emotional learning into a family habit for 2025.
Step 1: Name Emotions
Help your child name their feelings in real-time. Use visual tools, to help guide the conversation - there are many charts or drawings available online so see what speaks to you, or use our emotion characters - below we show 30 of our emotion characters to get you started! For example:
“I can see you’re angry right now. What else are you feeling?”
This simple question encourages curiosity, kicks emotional responses from the limbic system back to the prefrontal cortex, and fosters problem-solving.
Step 2: Teach Effective Tools That help Manage Emotions
Teach your kids some of the powerful tools like deep breathing, leaning into curiosity, perspective taking, self expression (whether that be verbal, written or through the creative arts), physical release (through movement), and mindfulness techniques! These will help them regulate their emotions, and make them more responsive rather than reactive.
There are many effective ways to do this, including:
Modeling and coaching by Adults —for example - when you feel yourself getting stressed, show your kids how you name it, interrupt it with a deep breath or a walk, and positive self-talk and then guide your kids through the same process when they next feel a similar emotion. Adult modeling helps them understand how to manage emotions in real-life scenarios because of the mirror neurons in the brain allow children to learn by observing others.
Play-Based Learning —for example games, role-playing, and interactive activities that simulate emotional scenarios or teach regulation strategies.) Play engages children in a safe and enjoyable way, activating their emotional and cognitive systems for experiential learning.
Stories and Narrative Techniques Reading books or hearing stories that feature characters navigating emotions, followed by discussions about the story. Stories create a low-pressure environment for children to understand emotions and explore regulation strategies vicariously - especially when you signpost and label the emotions and tools specifically!
Hands-On Tools and Activities — Try using physical tools and sensory-based activities like stress balls and fidget toys to regulate emotions etc. Sensory tools help children calm their bodies, which is critical for emotional regulation, and provide tangible ways to focus and redirect their energy.
Mindfulness and Self-Awareness Practices —age-appropriate mindfulness exercises, like guided meditation, body scans, or mindful breathing can help calm the nervous system of children and adults, making emotional regulation (and learning) easier!
Step 3: Set Practical Emotional Goals
Try to reflect with your child on what tools each of you do well or where you could use some practice, then turn your insights into tangible goals that you can both work on throughout the year. For instance, you might say "I wish I wasn't so reactive when you get angry so - next time I feel myself getting frustrated and angry I will try to:
Pause before reacting and take a deep breath, if that doesn't calm me down enough, I will
Create Space and physically walk away. If that doesn't calm me down enough I will explore
A Creative or Physical Outlet like drawing, painting, or clay sculpting, dancing to music, or going for a walk.
Once calm, I will Reflect on how I handled a situation and what worked or didn't work. Did any physiological needs influence my ability to regulate my emotions? (eg. Was I hungry or tired?)
To ensure that goals are not only set but kept, try asking your kids (1) how will you feel when they have achieved your goal? (2) how will you feel when you stumble? and (3) When you stumble, how will you get back up again?
✨ “When kids see anger or fear as part of a bigger emotional picture, they feel empowered rather than controlled by it,” says Levitt.
Step 4: Make Emotional Learning a Family Ritual
Consistency is key. Try simple daily or weekly check-ins like:
“What was your Rose (best moment), Bud (something you’re excited about), and Thorn (a challenge) today?”
Bedtime stories about emotions and how characters overcome challenges.
Celebrating progress, no matter how small.
By normalizing conversations around emotions, families build trust, resilience, and a deeper understanding of one another.
Ready to nurture emotional growth in your family this year? The tools from My Mama Says can help your family create lifelong habits of emotional intelligence.
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